Heal

You keep hurting

coming in from every corner and after every time I heal

only to hurt

not to love
or ask if I want to be hurt

and never to be a companion

and I keep healing

you hurt

I heal

and the next from the next corner

will hurt too

before I heal from your hurt

until I heal again

you will not stop hurting

raping, touching or kicking

and I will not stop healing quietly

There is only one me who heals

and many who hurt

so I must be to blame,

You will not stop hurting

Asking me to give you something mine alone

again and again

without my choosing you

treating me like a machine

or a toy

or a public toilet

and I cannot even tell you I'm healing

because I wouldn't be an object of your appreciation anymore

and I can never tell you you hurt me

because I will be scaring you

because it's your right to hurt to seek your pleasure if I'm close

and a woman's duty to bare pain and provide pleasure
again and again without scaring a fly
and without vanity
so I will continue to provide to you
while hurting
by being a public bus handle
you all hold
only to not be abused by you
if I say no.

If I hide

I will heal but not live

but if you see me

you will hurt me 

and you will never learn to care or love
or respect my privacy
or that I am a woman who chooses who I want close
and not choosing you -
does not mean I am not alive or living.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/nov/09/us-election-result-misogyny-america-panel-woman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7e3QKKOp50

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/michelle-obama-steals-show-democratic-8497702
 A beautiful speech

http://www.alternet.org/election-2016/there-are-6-types-ugly-american-and-donald-trump-all-them

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/a8305157/designer-sophie-theallet-will-refuse-to-dress-melania-trump/

Confused

In cars and buses and between work
pieces of poems come to mind and
turn away confused just like
My body is
confused
from the hands that grope it
and the mouths that touch it
and the legs that caress it
everyday with everyone I meet
in bits and pieces of my conversation with them
when the body is mine alone and no one
has a right over anyone else's
and with it,
I don't know what is mine
and what I love
Who I can call my own?
and how to make room for a hand I want on me
and how to value a hug anymore
or a kiss anymore
because of you
And I don't know how to turn these hands and mouths away
and how away do I keep
to avoid them
or be respected.

What this victory means for women

http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2016/11/donald-trump-victory-means-women-161110080920686.html

What the trump victory means

http://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/2016/11/donald-trump-victory-means-women-161110080920686.html

water

flowing
uncertain
unnamed
unbound
we wear flesh
to contain us
raging like
wild horses
we hold the mind
with reins..

Thankyou

Thankyou
for connecting with me without having to ask,
Thankyou for
that beautiful gift you've left me with,
Thankyou for becoming a part of me
Thanyou for letting me know you
Thankyou for leaving something with me
Thankyou for liking me enough
Thankyou for choosing me
for claiming me
for penetrating me
for tearing me apart
for devouring me
and for then blaming me.
You'll always owe me for receiving mischief
so gracefully,
for keeping your secret.

Pyaar

Pyaar ki neev par duniya khadi hai
jab tak pyaar hai
aakhir sab pyaare hain -

Doosra galti kare toh
bhi main pyaar dikhaoon
doora haath uthaaye toh doosra gaal de doon
balatkaar kare - toh phir karne doon?

Leikin sawaal yeh hai ki
kahan tak ka pyaar pragya hai aur kab woh pyaar moorkhtaa,
aur
aadmi ko pyaar dikhaana kyon nahi aata hai?
usko pyaar ki ehimiyat kyon nahi pata hai?

Woh sirf dabaav jaanta hai
zhor, tej, bal, jaanta hai
jo pyaar ka virodhi hai.

How does the mother link to the lover?

Respect

Our every word, touch, interaction with the world changes the way it sees us permanently, on every moment, which defines the respect that one establishes with the other.

That respect is the most sensitive line to tread in human interaction.

It takes the most precarious rope-walking to not just maintain your respect in the eyes of those who know you, but theirs' in yours as much as they may push and pull the strings.

I have tried to retain the respect of everyone who touches my life as far as I can as that of my associations and interactions - to keep them innocent and new for as long as I can, but failed often enough to understand the lack of sensitivity with which people find it so easy to lose theirs to you in the pleasure they often seek in disrobing you of yours - so that they compel you to speak up and lose your respect in their eyes further till relationships lose their newness, their innocence, completely. Relationships change in moments- every touch, every word spoken between two individuals changes the way we perceive each other..

I hope more than to ever be respected, to never lose respect for anyone who touches my life, which I believe is in my hands too - because it is in every person to raise the other rather than suppress them.

I'm Willing

If you want to rape
I'll be raped
If you want to supress
I'll be supressed
If you want to feel good about yourself
I'm willing to be walked upon
If you think rape is cool
I'm willing to be cool
If you want to violate me of my dignity
I'll be violated
If you want to shame me
I'm willing to be shamed
If you want to be the greater one
I have no respect to fight for
If you want to dirty me
I'm not lessened by anything you do
If you want to intrude in my privacy,
grab my body all you want
If you want to win
I'm willing to lose, lose, lose
I'm willing to be raped again and again and again
if you feel better doing that
till there's nothing left for you to take away
and I have done that
Yes I'm
misleading you
and your sense of you,
I may die,
I may end up un-healthier
I may cry alone
I become no one 
And if you want to lie after raping me,
I'm even willing to admit you are right
that it was my doing
if it makes me not suppress you
because I don't want to be a cause
for anyone's fall,
because I'm no one to change you,
the change must come from you..
which it never can,
because you are too dirty for even repentence.

fear

the snake came slithering into

what could've been

an option

chttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hg3umXU_qWc